My MIL admonished my 21 year old tonight to show me more respect. My daughter, an independent thinker and sometimes disrespectful daughter asked me outright if I thought she was being disrespectful. She was, mildly so, but that wasn’t really the point.
My MIL was defending me in what she ‘heard’ as a tone that was less than what she thought I deserved. My daughter doesn’t understand this yet, but one day she will.
And in the end, I think we made some headway. My headstrong child actually listened and participated in a better dialogue after the admonition. There was a time when she would have lashed out and refused to hear, let along listen.
I was thankful my MIL made a point I could not have made. And I was proud of my daughter for stepping up and hearing me out on the question she asked.
One can’t buy these ‘truths’ in any way. They happen because we allow them by being active and loving participants in the moment that they arrive.